After breaking up with a significant other, it is difficult not to still feel strong emotions for that person.  Usually, after the break up you feel like you either want to get over him as soon as possible or you want to rekindle the relationship.  This is a time when your thinking might be cloudy as you think back to your previous relationship.  Before you decide that you really want to win back that lost love, seriously evaluate whether that relationship is worth it.  Don’t just focus on the good times and you may decide that staying apart is the right choice to make.

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Do you still want to win back lost love?  If so, the first thing you should do is apologize.  If you are thinking that you have already apologized before the breakup, but do it again and make it sincere.  Your ex may have thought your apology was just to try to keep the relationship together.

Were you the one who hurt or decieved your partner?  If you did something that needs to be apologized for you should apologize again.  Since the relationship is already over, your ex might see the apology as more sincere because they know you are not saying things just to try to stay together.

If he was the person in the wrong, don’t try to pull an apology out of him but forgive him.  Forgiving is not forgetting because honestly, you might not ever forget.  However, if the relationship is to have any chance of reconcilliation you must be able to forgive.  It is not an easy thing to do, especially in the case of cheating, but it is the only way that the relationship will have a chance or survival.

If you are successful and you win back lost love, it is common for the same issues that plagued your relationship before the break-up to resurface.  This is when your forgiveness will be put to the test because it is difficult to get past that pain and you will be tempted to relive the past and exchange hurtful words.

If you have truly forgiven him, you should not need to keep bringing up the past.  You have to be able to forgive him for what he did to cause the relationship to end and for the actual break up.  It is not a favor to him to do this.  If you really want this relationship, you will suffer by trying to hold it together with pain and spite in your heart.  Forgivenesss is a great healer.

One last thing to consider is, that you had special qualities that your ex found attractive and fell in love with in the first place.  Show your man that you still are the woman and don’t let yourself fall into a cycle of anger, jealousy, and pain.  This doesn’t mean to mask your pain but just to focus on being your best self.  When he sees that in you, you may just win back lost love.

Click here to get your copy of the Magic of Making Up.