Are you a good conservationist?  Many people can flirt with their bodies yet when the need for conversation arises they begin to blunder and stutter as though they are in a show for America’s funniest bloopers.  And, for the people who do this – it is not funny.  There are a few tips that you can learn to enhance your conversation style – not just with the opposite sex.  Our conversations with others are extremely crucial in the development of our relationships and being a good conversationalist means getting your point across as well as listening to the other person.  Here are a few tricks you need to master the art of conversation.

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First of all, realize that the art of conversation is a shared skill.  This means you definitely cannot do it alone.  It is much like dancing where you have to meet the movements of your partner and read what is coming next.  The biggest rule to be an effective communicator in love and in other areas of your life is eye contact.  Maintain eye contact when talking to people, don’t fiddle with your face or clothes and use the persons name to ensure that they stay attentive to you.

The most important tip is often the hardest for women.  Say what you mean and mean what you say!  Trying to please someone else by saying what you think they want to hear is self defeating and will not help you to get your point across or properly display yourself in the light of your authentic self.  If you say what you mean and never start conversations with an accusatory word or tone like “You always” or “You never” you can ensure that your words are never minced.  No one can read your mind and you are absolutely entitled to your opinions, thoughts and otherwise!  If someone you are talking to is valuable in your life they want to hear what you really mean rather than a fluffed up version of the truth!  This will also empower you and make you feel listened to. Ask questions and ask others how they feel; then wait for the answer.  Interrupting shows a complete lack of manners, respect and restraint!  Bite your tongue if you want to jump in.

In order to effectively communicate you have to listen.  This means keeping eye contact, nodding in agreement and showing an interest in the conversation.  It also means NOT turning every sentence around to be about you!  Look for others who do this as well and you will be able to weed out ego maniacs in your life.  Remember, this is a dance not a solo act!

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Another effective communication tool, especially when you are trying to learn about someone you are dating is to never ask yes or no questions!  Always leave them open so that your dance partner can add some insight to your experience.  Watch them as they talk and based on their eyes and body language you will be able to interpret truths, hurts and uncomfortable conversations!  If someone doesn’t want to talk about something- than allow them to change the subject at least for the time being.  Conversations should not be power struggles.

Perhaps one of the most important aspects for women in using the art of conversation is to never try to appear dumb!  Don’t ask questions you know the answers to and work very hard to display your emotional intelligence.  You are a thinking being and by portraying yourself as such right away in a conversation you will earn the respect that you deserve.

If you think of your conversation skills as a dance performance you will realize that the two of you either have chemistry on the dance floor or you don’t!  If you feel unable to express yourself freely, find your self physically swallowing often or witness your partner doing the same – things are not going well!  Find your voice and allow the people in your life to have theirs!  This will make for the most beautiful dance of all!